This might appear a bit too cheezy, but I would just like to go ahead and dedicate this to the friend I mentioned in my previous blog post. May the song inspire you as well as what Dany Gokey said in the end...(just added - the original video I posted here was removed on Youtube so I had to post another one).
I feel this song and what it represents to Dany Gokey given the situation he was in. (Just added - Dany Gokey said something in the end to this effect: that he was picturing people rising up from their bad situations and finding hope for a bright future)
I am inspired and I hope you guys find inspiration in it too.
I composed a long blog post last night only to delete it and publish a very short one. I am in a state of disappointment right now and it is just timely that I decided to stay at home today to do some chores.
I just feel more mad now than I was last night because of the conversation I had with my friend. I was feeling positive about her situation when she first told me about her problem. I guess I felt happy because she is finally being given proof why she should commit to change. I mean c'mon I have been hearing the same excuses from a similar problem. While the said problem is not the only reason why this other problem emerged, it is ultimately how she handles it and what she does about it that led to this other problem.
Countless times, we have been told that to be a good friend you have to be there for your friend and listen to her. However, as a friend and being the person that you are it is extremely difficult if not impossible to just sit there and say nothing especially when you are upset about the situation and her attitude towards it.
That is why towards the end of the conversation, I just said I'm sorry but I am not the right person to talk to because I cannot conceal my reaction towards it. I cannot give her the type of friendship she needs at that moment because I am who I am also and given a certain situation I respond in a different way compared to how other people will respond to it. That is why most of the time, we choose who among our friends to talk to given a situation. We don't rely on a certain person to give this certain reaction or do this certain gesture because that is not innate to that person.
I have been in similar situations where I was the one who needed to vent out and I wanted someone to just listen. In fact, the situations were reversed between the two of us a few years ago and our roles were also in reverse. She couldn't just shut up and feign a different reaction to what I was saying because she is who is and she is my friend. I mean what kind of a friend just nods in a corner and says nothing.
Maybe the truth of the matter is, we want friends to be shock absorbers given some situations. This is something I only thought of right now. I am guilty of this as well, I also turn to selected friends if I wanted a shock absorber and I turn to a different set of friends when I need to be positive and motivated. In some cases, we can be good shock absorbers too but you know sometimes it just depends on the situation being presented to us, how we feel about it, and how we feel about our own lives in that particular moment.
At this point, maybe I am not a good friend to turn to for these things. Yes, a number of times this particular friend has been a shock absorber to me as well. However, there were also times when instead of being absorber she adopted a different attitude about the situation and chose to speak up about it. Most of the time, when friends chose to speak up about it they don't necessarily turn into bad shock absorbers either. They are just being who they are and as friends they need to say certain things.
Then there are times like last night when I could not control my own emotions and my own reactions about what she said. I am leaving soon, and after a number of years I still hear the same attitude and her same attack to the problem. I even know what will be next, I know how the next conversation will be like as well. I almost memorized how she will justify certain things and why there are things that won't be done because she does such a good job convincing herself that that is what she needs to do at the moment and even if she tells you that she knows what you are talking about, the truth is she really doesn't give a damn because in her mind and in heart of hearts she has made up her mind on what she will do and on how she chooses to feel about it.
I mean hello, how can you not be upset as a friend? It is the same equivalent of shutting someone out, and I would know because I have done that several times as well.
If my friend gets more mad at me for my reaction then I will take it because I know that I feel this way because I care. Sadly, I cannot give her what she think she needs at this point and at times I wonder who else can give that to her but herself. It is also for the same reason why she chooses to distance herself from people when it reaches a certain level.
I understand how and why she is feeling this way. It is just upsetting because maybe subconsciously I have been waiting for something different this time. I only have a couple of days left and for a number of years I have also been waiting for her to do the right thing. I know it's hard and it is not that easy and it is a process blah blah blah. Even this flow of conversation I have heard countless times before.
Maybe just maybe for a change I was hoping to see a fighter, or the makings of one. I am happy though because life itself has given her an ultimatum, no more excuses this time and there really is not much time. It is either she turns her life around or not, she can whine about it and all but good thing this time she doesn't have the option to not do it because let's face it, if she did have that option she would have taken it right away.
Let us remind ourselves that we are foolish to think that by doing the same things that we can produce different results.
I am sad because Britney seems to be sick again. A few months ago, I spent so much on Vet fees when Britney chewed on two tubes of ointments that fell off our medicine cabinet. I brought her to the vet for fear that she was poisoned, only for the doctor to dismiss the tubes I gave her and told me of a different disease that my dog probably has.
I ended up rushing Britney (my 10-month-old JRT) to another Vet after I brought her home (from the first animal pet clinic) and she started throwing up. She must have really ingested some poison and it was good that she was able to throw up the container of ointment that she chewed on. No thanks to the incompetent vet at the animal clinic that I first went to who dismissed the possibility of poisoning . No antidote was given and the doctor proceeded to a different concern without addressing the actual reason why I brought her in the clinic to begin with.
Good thing Britney was able to throw up a good amount of the ointment as well as the actual container of tube she ingested. I can't stress this enough.
In the second clinic, Britney was put on dextrose and the next day I was just so surprised with how the vet fees ballooned. Among the fees that I had to pay for was an Erlichia blood test. I agreed to pay an extra 900 pesos for the test because I wanted to find out why the first doctor was so concerned about anemia(that she completely forgot about the possibility of poisoning).
Britney tested negative for Erlichia and instead of feeling elated, I was disappointed because we still did not know what was causing her low blood levels. I started to do self-treatment on her and continued giving her Sangobion syrup. She seemed ok and looked like she was on her way to recovery until we noticed a change in her behaviour a few days ago.
I examined her closely and saw that her gums and paws were as pale as it was a few months ago. Here we go again. I have been researching on possible diseases that she might have, and I am again giving her Sangobion syrup and I gave her this month's dose of Revolution for heartworm and tick / flea control among other things (although I rarely see a tick/flea on her). I have also been feeding her with liver to increase her blood levels, but her appetite is still not back to normal.
I am so anxious as it is, and I am just praying that she gets well. I am so hesitant to go the Vet again because of the huge fees involved, so I am hoping we won't have to. Times are hard and I just can't afford another huge bill from the Vet.
I am just so new at this. My snowball (my late toy poodle who lived for more than 13 years) was never taken to a vet and was never sick. I love Britney so much that I have also sacrificed a lot to make sure she is ok...but she still isn't. I hope everything will be ok.
I can't believe Salma Hayek got married! If I am not mistaken I saw her featured in an interview and she said that she does not have a need for marriage. While that was probably years ago, I kept on quoting her from then on. Now, who should I look up to for inspiration where single life is concerned?
Well, I shall own that quote from now on then since Salma Hayek changed her mind about it. So I say, "I do not have a need for marriage"---unless of course I fall in love and totally surrender Bataan..wink wink ;)
OK, moving on...
I was trying to google the news I saw the other day about a man who accidentally drove off a cliff when his Jack Russell Terrier suddenly jumped on his lap. The Jack Russell Terrier was stuck inside his car while it was hanging off the cliff. He on the other hand was thrown a few yards from where the car landed. He was unable to call 911 until some 12 hours after when some good Samaritans were able to spot him and gave him his mobile (which was also in the car).
The said man suffered a number of injuries, and so did his Jack Russell Terrier who was given special treatment in the hospital where it was allowed to recuperate in the hospital along with his owner.
While I am still searching for any video and/or news article that we may refer to about the said incident, I would like to share these online finds of mine.
You see, as I was trying a number of key words about the said incident I just mentioned, I chanced upon these videos of Mariah Carey on YouTube with her Jack Russell Terrier. I am not a Marian Carey fanatic, so it is actually news to me that she actually owns a Jack Russell Terrier. All of a sudden, I have something in common with her---we both have a JRT!
I wonder who among the celebrities in Hollywood also own JRTs...I might as well find out soon enough. For now, you might want to enjoy the videos below.
Here is another one...The Jack Russell Terrier in the commercial does not look like the dog of Mariah Carey, but it sure is cute!
I waited for the day that I will get to leave the Philippines, and here I am so anxious of so many things that my near departure is not fully sinking in.
I am so distracted that I forgot what my initial purpose for going online was. I saw the pictures that I have accumulated the past 2 - 3 years and I am blown away with new realizations. Every time I see pictures of myself from the past, I am reminded of memories and I seem to remember them differently each time.
I have a new sense of appreciation of myself and what I have done in the past when I remember my efforts. What seemed like very small achievements back then seem impressively significant to me now. I don't know if this is an ironic state of mind, since the trend as we get older is that we accomplish greater things and we overcome more difficult challenges as we go through life. Then again, we tend to belittle ourselves in the beginning and the younger we are the greater the expectations we have of ourselves and the people around us.
I used to feel that my days were too long, and that the day that I was waiting for will never come. Like all things, good and bad it all has to end. Sadly, there are times when you want to hold on to good things and skip the bad things and wish that the good moments with loved ones will never end. There also comes a time when we have to live our own lives and leave others behind simply because we have to find our own destiny.
Before I start sounding corny and too emotional, let me share with you some of the things I am already beginning to miss.
I will miss Britney. She is my Jack Russell Terrier who is about to turn one-year old this April. She has been my constant companion since August of last year and she has given me so much love and joy.
I will miss my bazaar activities, especially the ones I had at the St. James Bazaar '08 together with Jels, Kel, and Van.
I will miss the San Miguel Bay Side of Mall of Asia and the good food and good memories I experienced there.
I will miss Frozen Margaritas that I can already barely afford here, what more when they're so much more expensive abroad.
I will miss driving and I may even slightly miss Manila...
I will miss the club even if I have not been able to go there for quite some time now...
I will miss wrapping lots of gifts on Christmas and receiving lots of gifts as well!
I will definitely miss my family and friends....
There are so many things to be missed and I won't be able to fit all of them in just one blog post. So let this be the first of my reminiscing of my memories here in Manila.
I started browsing the internet today with a news from Australia about a Koala rescued from a forest fire. The Koala was on the ground and according to the fireman who rescued her, it seemed to be bewildered. The whole rescue was recorded on a cellphone and the world took notice of how the Koala responded to her rescuer. The Koala, who is now named Sam was given water by the fireman, and the Koala actually put his hand on the arm of the fireman while it drank from the water bottle.
The Koala was said to be reaching out for the water bottle in the beginning and then the Koala rested its paw on the arm of the fireman. The fireman explains that his arm at that time was quite cold and somewhat wet and that probably offered some relief to the injured paw of Koala.
Check out these videos of the Koala rescue from www.Youtube.com
In the wild, it is said to be extremely rare to come close in contact with a Koala. When I visited Australia a number of years back, my mom and I went to this farm where we were able to see Koalas and Kangaroos. How can we leave Australia without seeing one of each in person right?
Anyways, since the Koala was tamed (not raised in the wild) and is still a baby, I was actually able to get a photo op. I held the Koala while its sharp claws held on to my shoulder while I supported him with both of my hands underneath his quite heavy body. The koala was definitely heavier than a baby, although this would actually depend on how big the koala is and the baby that it is being compared to. Nonetheless, that was how I remembered it.
The Koala was also very sleepy and if I remember it correctly, that's how they really are according to the Australian who was handling the Koala. They gave out information about the Koala and they said that Koalas sleep a lot and this is also mostly the effect of eating eucalyptus leaves. The said leaves doesn't really give them that much energy so they tend to be sluggish creatures.
I enjoyed holding a Koala and it was an experience I will never forget. I remembered this experience again upon coming across with the Koala rescue sensation posted on Youtube. It reminded me of how I was once upon a time so fascinated with nature and how active I was with organizing activities for awareness and conservation. While I do not know if I did any good, back then it felt good to have that kind of passion.
It is good that there are still so many people out there who have both the passion and the guts to act on their beliefs. Thank God for people who are compassionate towards animals, mother nature, and all that people like you and I should pay a little more attention to.
