The Piece Does Not Fit

There are some downsides to being F-A-T, but somehow I can't bring myself to WANT to lose weight. I have been very rebellious on a lot of things lately and that includes my weight. I've been eating everything and anything at unbelievable amounts that I had to change my wardrobe several times. Even today, I would have the problem of finding a piece of clothing that would fit me, and when I did, I found myself trying out one set after another to find the piece of clothing that showed the less bulge.

I have heard countless times from my mother that I could be beautiful again if I lost weight, and when I saw recent photos of myself, I could not help but cringe and agree with her. The thing is, I am at a stage in my life right now when there are too many things going on, and food is my greatest comfort and I don't want to give a damn with how I look. I will eventually, but at this point I just want to prolong the feeling of not being so damn constricted and controlled.

I have freed myself from the fear of getting F-A-T, but I cannot change the fact that when you are F-A-T you feel less energetic and you don't feel that good about yourself either. Do I feel any less of a person? At times yes, because I don't get away with certain things like I used to. The treatment of people towards me is definitely different although it does not bother me too much for me to do something about it.

I am in a ME stage right now, and I would like to indulge myself a little bit more while I go through this searching phase of my life. I will be moving again soon and life won't be peaches and cream for awhile once I start that new chapter in my life. I will eventually be forced to watch my eating for other reasons apart from the need for weight loss.

I am blogging about this now because once again I am jolted awake by the fact that things are different now, and I may be in denial about it when I look into the mirror but no one should be able to make me feel anything that I don't want to feel.

This is not a permanent phase in my life, but while I am here, I am undeniably experiencing both desirable and undesirable consequences of my actions.

Meanwhile, I am very much inspired with the weight loss achievements of Valerie Bertinelli.

Photo Source: http://coverawards.com/tag/valerie-bertinelli-weight-loss/

C'est la vie

I have not been studying French lately, but I did make an effort to borrow a French Instruction CD with a booklet from the Spring Garden Public Library today. It was my first time in the said establishment, and I applied for my library card and got it a few minutes after registration. I did not fill out any forms and the guy who handled my request was very charming and pleasant. I couldn't help but smile back at him and be as friendly as he was.

I do feel that I am very different from everyone else here though, and it is primarily because I am Asian. I feel distanced from the other Asians here as well because I am new here and have not really established my roots. Nonetheless, there are very nice people here and there are also those that I should be wary of. Even in a town with what seems like, very nice people there will always be its own dose of opportunists and bad elements of society. I am always on guard wherever I go and I try my hardest not to be too trusting.

Anyways, It is almost dinner time and I really need to cook for my family here. There are still a few more things I'd like to share though, like yesterday I earned my first CA$20 from participating in a local survey. The project manager was friendly and nice and I actually had a pleasant time. The only downside is that we kept on talking about caffeine, because there were questions pertaining to that so I actually developed a craving for Coke Zero after the session. I begrudgingly bought a CA$ 2 bottle of Coke Zero from a nearby grocery and I'm psyching myself that it will be my last bottle of Coke.

I am blogging my thoughts without any sort of pattern now, as I am sharing events that happened both yesterday and today.

The glass of the window where I am at is making sounds as the strong gust of wind slaps against it. I am reminded of the snow storm the past two days.


It was so cold, and since it was my scheduled appointment for participating in the survey I told you about, I had no choice but to walk my way through the snow.

The locals here are so used to it that those who walked the same path with me yesterday passed by me one by one. I was walking at a very slow pace because I was very afraid to land on my a** and it actually did me some good---first, I did not slip although I almost did several times; and second, I found a lucky quarter embedded in the snow as I was walking back home.

This is it for now. I have books to read for tonight and for the next few days...I need to get back to my cooking and I'll get back to you if I happen to do any sightseeing in the days to come.

Weekend Escape

At first, I thought I had some great pictures to share. What initially seemed great to me though appeals flat and uninteresting now. Despite this, this is a new place for me and not everybody gets to go here so it might as well be something interesting right?

The thing is, this is a small Maritime province and I only see a fraction of it since I have not really toured around outside my neighborhood. With the exception of last Sunday where we went to the adjacent city of Dartmouth (pronounced as Dart-mooth) to go to a series of shops, there is nothing really to share.

On our way to Dartmouth we passed by the Halifax Citadel National Historic Site (on the left side of the road) , and I quickly took a photo of the Old Town Clock that rested on the downward slope of the hill of this memorial. The said site was built to commemorate the naval participation of the town (now considered a city) during the British reign.
So from Brunswick Street, we were on our way to the city of Dartmouth. We had to pass through the Angus L. Macdonald Bridge, as you would see in the pictures below.




Dartmouth is quite different compared to Downtown Halifax. The Wal Mart here is newer and seems bigger and there are a number of shops that you won't find in the Mumford area (where the Halifax Shopping Center is along with other shops).Naturally, as we found our way back to Halifax we had to again cross the Macdonald bridge (parallel to it on the other side is the McKay bridge and is in view from Macdonald bridge) and pass through Brunswick Street on our way home...
During such time, we were surprised to see a swarm of locals emerging from the Halifax Metro Center on Brunswick. I better find out what exactly do they show there but it must be some form of wholesome entertainment because we saw families with children coming out from the said establishment.
Most if not all of the shops here close at 5 PM on Sundays, so it really was a short trip. This was the end of my weekend sightseeing, uneventful but somehow intriguing. It felt like the start of Spring, people were glad to be out of their homes, and I was hopeful to do more exploration of the city.

Exploring Downtown Halifax

It was my second time to explore this city, and I went down Spring Garden (a popular place here in Halifax) by foot and these are the sights I saw...

A series of retail shops that make Spring Garden a shopping haven for tourists and Nova Scotians alike.

I went further down the road and came across one of the many buildings of Dalhousie University and beside it stands the Provincial Courthouse; both buildings were both on my right side as I was waking towards Grafton Road.

Before I reach the Courthouse, I took this picture of the Public Library to my left. The photo below however is what you see in front of the Spring Garden Road Memorial Public Library, and from this angle you can see the red brick building from across the street.

Moving on, I see this red brick building which is right beside perhaps the most interesting Architecture in all of Spring Garden.



This is St. Mary's Basilica, which I vaguely remember from my History of Design and Architecture classes. This Basilica was built in the 1820's as a Georgian church but was later on refurbished to this Victorian-Gothic architecture which holds the tallest polished (made out of granite) spire in North America.

I had to stop taking pictures for awhile as I turned left at Barrington street, because it had a totally different atmosphere compared to Spring Garden. Plus, I also had to go in the first art store I saw in this city.
After emerging from the art supply shop, I explored the streets down the hill...and found myself in another Halifax landmark, the Sackville Landing.

This is the HMCS Sacville, a ship that has been restored for the purpose of building this memorial for the navies who served during the Second World War. This area is usually more alive and more populous during the spring and summer seasons. The said ship was not open for viewing during the time I took this picture. I went to the Visitor Center right in front of it to get some maps, and ask a number of questions about sightseeing in Nova Scotia.
Further down Lower Water St. away from Sacville Landing, I took these pictures while I was still at the harbor area...
Soon after, I was on my way up this road to go back to Spring Garden. It started to rain so I had to hurry back home...
The photos of this cemetery on my way up Spring Garden were my last ones. It wasn't raining that hard, but it felt stronger than a drizzle so I had to stop and find my way back home. I was not able to get the name of this cemetery, but for the record this was the second cemetery I saw in my stay here.

Stay tuned for more photos...

Confused and Lost in the Atlantic

It has almost been a week since I got here, and I have undergone so many mood swings since then. What they said in the seminar about migrating is true, there are stages where your emotions are concerned and what seems to be excitement and awe in the beginning may quickly turn into sadness and confusion.

I am forced to face my fears in this foreign land, and the ultimate question remains unanswered: "What career path should I take?". It is different here, any newcomer will experience a sense of being lost because the experience that he/she has built through the years will not readily be recognized. The standards here are all too different, and it is not too hard to understand why.

At this point however, I just have to assure myself that I have what it takes to succeed here or at my final destination---and that things will be ok. I may not know the language, and I may need to adjust and it will be difficult but I need to go through it. Once I am well-adjusted, I will feel better and it is just a matter of time when my worries are put to rest.

Furthermore, I must take into consideration that it is not the lack of talent that will keep me from my dream job. What gets in the way is so much more complicated, and all I have to do is keep on moving forward until I can actually get through.

Meanwhile, I must pray that I get there fast enough before my finances are all depleted. Apart from the financial aspect of things, I really should not worry about the time it takes from getting here to there. I'll get there...I must.

First Few Pictures of Nova Scotia

It has been my first day out and I'm afraid I was feeling pretty gloomy today and it might have showed in the pictures. I will try to go out and explore more of my neighborhood and I hope to get better pictures. Spring just started here, and they say I am lucky because it isn't too cold anymore. While everyone was wearing their jackets and short coats, I was definitely wearing a winter coat complete with gloves and a scarf.
I went to the Halifax Shopping Center where I had to get my Social Identification Number from Service Canada. On my way up to the floor where their office was, chanced upon this guy who after pressing the elevator button going up, he went to this dispenser and I saw him rub his hands. Apparently, it was a hand sanitizer dispenser and you'd find it all-over the mall. The hand sanitizer was free for use, and I realized that I should not have packed a hand sanitizer from the Philippines as it is free here. Isn't that amazing? I wonder how OC people are here.

The population of old people here is quite high, and we are all expected to give them high respects and give way to them. Cars here stop at the sight of pedestrians and they give way. While this is all nice, it still feels like culture shock to me as I have to be extra careful with my movements here. I was still feeling jet lag today and I did not even notice that I got in the way of a grumpy old man.

The Nova Scotians were definitely in a good mood today because of the weather, except for the said grumpy old man on a motor transport in the mall who cursed at me when I got in his way. I was cursed 'Jesus' and then he rode off, leaving me feeling shocked and a bit depressed about the said encounter. I apologized and it was after I apologized that he cursed.



There is a cemetery just around the corner, and I see a lot of brown trees with melting ice beside them.

There's so much more to tell...hopefully my next bacth of photos will be happier!

Leaving on A Jet Plane

The day that I have been waiting for the past three years of my life is about to arrive. No, I am not getting married and I am not exactly waiting for that. I am leaving...leaving the Philippines for a few years to find my place under the sun. I have very mixed emotions where my departure is concerned. I am not completely happy contrary to what I first expected, I am feeling a little blue and anxious. I am about to venture into the unknown and I am not exactly thrilled to leave a few of my loved ones behind.

I am a little bit excited though because it has been quite awhile since I last traveled. I don't know what is in store for me out there, but I am ready to have the experience of a lifetime. It won't be easy all the time, but I know I need to do this in order to grow. I need to get out of my comfort zone and see just how far can I go without the comforts I enjoy here in Pinas.

I hope everything goes smoothly though, and I pray that God will always watch over me. I will keep you guys updated on the adventures that will come my way.

Pls. pray for me...and I hope you stay tuned to my new adventures and misadventures.

P.S. A quick update on Britney's condition, her lab tests a few weeks ago showed that she has Ehrlichia. She has been receiving treatment for a few days now, and she needs to continue medication until we complete the 30-day period. I hope all will be well where Britney's health is concerned. I am just glad that I finally know what disease hit her and that we caught it early.